Today

I colored my dying woman. It was only crappy crayon but it made her seem more real to me. I feel some strange connection to her, as if... I don't know, as if she's some part of me. Not that some part of me is dying, but that some part of me is, well I don't actually really know. I colored her face with a peachy color because I couldn't bear to make her deathly pale. I gave her yellowed eyes and a thin light red line for a mouth. The shadows under her eyes are now purple blue and black. I don't know why I drew her, or why I colored her, she's not even that good! She's just... there. I'm watching Bee Season with my dad, it's really confusing and depressing, but it's really interesting too. It's really bizzare. It's kind of making me feel better about my own problems. Wow... this is a really... emotional movie... It's just so... I don't know. Alas, I must go.

The Joys of Life...

Today I drew a couple depressing sketches... One is of a dying woman, she has no hair, and huge shadows under her eyes. The other is some freaky 3 dimensional shape, kind of like a triangular prism with the top lopped off, that has a weird looking eye on top. The first is called Dying is Hard, the second is called Everything is Watching You. I'm bored... Now I''m going to go eat dinner. Bye.

What is up with me?

I swear! Today I suddenly started freaking out, because by brother didn't want this pomegranite that I shucked for myself but it was too tart for me, and went into the bathroom, sat down on the closed toilet and started hyperventilating! Not just breathing quickly but actually hyperventilating! When I stopped I was suddenly just happy and cheerful! I'm assuming that the half minute of overwhelming depression was due to what I like to call "Simone hasn't really eaten anything all day" disease. But that disease isn't usually accompanied by brief stints of happiness! I really don't know what's been happening lately! I've just been freaking out. Well, good news is that I've finished my narrative for English (it was supposed to have been done yesterday...), but I CANNOT FIGURE OUT HOW TO PUT IT ON DEVIANTART! Garr... I guess I'll go ask Gabrielle. Bye...

Ugh!

I AM SO TIRED OF THIS CRAP! EVERY DAY I GET UP, I GO TO SCHOOL, I GO HOME, AND I GET DEPRESSED!! I'M TIRED OF MY LIFE! I'm depressed, upset, angry, tired, and I feel like I want to cry! WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME? What am I supposed to do? I'm just so... I DON'T EVEN KNOW!! WHAT AM I? I want to scream, cry, and curl up in a ball and do nothing. But I can't. I have to sit here and watch tv, not allowing myself to do so. I'm just, unhappy. I just want to take some time and sit down and cry. Just cry like my mother died. I want a cold, soundproof room with no light and big, soft, fluffy, warm blankets where I can just curl up and cry until I'm happy again. That sounds so wonderful right now. Maybe I'll just take a nap... *sigh*

*Cry cry*

I'm so pissed off at my brother!! He doesn't trust me, he doesn't respect me, and he's CONSTANTLY irritating me! I mean, sometimes he's nice and stuff but most of the time he's just annoying as hell! Well, I'm glad because I'm figuring out what to get Gabrielle for Christmas! I'm getting her a T-shirt but I'm not sure which one... Watching House, more later!

Bored again...

Wow, nothing ever happens to me does it? I live a rather boring life. Nice, suburban neighborhood, a best friend who "understands me", caring, lenient parents, good grades... Boring... Nice, but boring. *sigh* Now I see why I get obsessed with random stuff... Like puppets, Fang, books, tv, etc. Ah well, Good night all, time for shower, then bed. The sleeping time, she comes.

Morning...

I am very tired. It's far too early for me and I can't think of an ending that doesn't suck for my narrative! AAAAAAAAAAH!! I'm so screwed! It's supposed to be done on Friday and I have no idea what's going to happen!! *sigh* Whatever, I'll figure something out. I always do... Well, bye people.

Gabrielle

I've been reading my best friend's blog (Gabrielle) and she's been feeling all "dark and twisty", she seems to be kind of freaking out about it but I totally understand how she feels! It's amazing because the same thing is going on with me and I thought nobody understood (I am NOT going all angsty teenager on you people, I just didn't think that anybody I knew felt the same way as me!). I'm actually quite excited about this! When she's alone she's all depressed and angsty, LIKE ME!! Cool, huh? Well, I guess I could tell you a bit more about my day. When I got up it was really early but then I had to take a shower so my mom had to drive me to school so I wouldn't be unbelievably late. Thankfully I wasn't. After first period I found out that period one had been extended, so I got to go back to Mr. Fredrick's class (I don't dislike Mr. Fredrick, but he's just not a very good teacher). But then, after 15 minutes of no-new-book boredom, I got to go to the LIBRARY for my aide period, BEST PERIOD EVER!!!!!! I love the library, it's all quiet and peaceful, and filled with all those wonderful books. *sigh* I want the library right now... But anyway, after that I got to go to P.E. (OH JOY!!) where we played Capture the Flag (actually reasonably fun) and take a test on Takraw (an odd game where you play volleyball with your feet...). But then after that I went to History where Mr. Kane took us to the Library (YAY!!) to work on History Day... woo... Then fifth period I went to math which was just regular and normal... just math. Finally English, happy period where we reviewed some writing that was done by people we've never met. Oh ya! Lunch! I went to Mr. Johnson's luch club ("Science Club" the club where we do everything but science) and talked to Gabrielle and everyone else, trying desperately not to let Pat and Niki's secret out to everyone... yay. It was actually very fun! I love Mr. Johnson (not really, just you know, as a teacher, the best teacher I've ever had) he's hilarious and kind of understands us. Well, talk to ya'll later, BYE!

Garr!! BORED!!

I am sooooooooooo bored!! This is so annoying! Grrrr... I cannot believe the boredom. I'm watching My Name is Earl, it's extremely funny but still kinda boring since it's so stupid. Joy is the most retarded woman ever. Earl is stupid but not as stupid as Joy she's extra stupid... Well, bye...

Sorry, DEVOTED READERS!!

Ya, sorry for my psychotic post yesterday... not that anyone is actually reading about my pathetic life... depression depression... Well, maybe Brie will once her internet is back up... but still. I was kinda freaking out... And for some reason I was obsessed with the thought that Fang (Maximum Ride series) was going to come find me and take me away... weird huh? Well, for me, that's normal... I live a VERY exciting life. VERY EXCITING!! Soooo... today was normal. Went to school, talked to people, oooooohed at Niki and Pat, lotsa fun. Did more on my History Day project on Henry VIII... went to Brie's house after and played some Okami, v. nice day, huh? Well, I guess that's all for now, people who aren't there and don't care!! Talk to ya later...

Once Upon a Time

there was a young woman named Simone who was so bored and depressed that she ate pie... The end. Sooooomewhere over the rainbow, way up high!! There's a land that I heard of once in a lullabye! Ya right... WHERE'S FANG?? DANG NABBIT!! Garr...

The time is...

8:18 and I am bored out of my mind. Watching Transformers, totally confused. Nothing to talk about. Ahhhhhhhh! Someone save me from this boredom! Please! *sigh* Nobody's coming. No Fang, no Vivian, no nothing... Grrrr.

Sigh

Well, here I am. Sitting here... alone. Well, not really alone, my dad and brother are with me but they're watching the news (fire in Malibu) and I don't have anyone to talk to... I guess I'll talk about my freaky Yosemite trip. Okay, so when we get there Niki and I disliked Pat (Patrick) but by the third day Pat told me he liked Niki so I asked Niki if she liked Pat, and she did. It was freaky. And a day before Nate (my friend who I used to like but don't anymore) called me his girlfriend and I totally don't know why!!! I want a boyfriend but not NATE!! He's obnoxious when you think about it! It's so weird and I'm very conflicted. That would NOT have happened if Brie had been there! But sadly she coudn't go. God, I wish she was there! GARR!! I want a Fang or a Numair or an Argul or even a JESSE TUCK FOR PETE'S SAKE!! *sigh* someday my prince will come.... OH GOD, I DID NOT JUST SAY THAT!!!! Did I??

My Blog - The Reasons

Well, since I've started a blog I thought I should tell everyone a bit about myself and why I did it. My life has been... interesting of late, and I thought that it would be nice to have somewhere to tell about it. My name is Simone. I'm in my early teens and I'm an odd person who loves books, puppets, dragons, werewolves, etc. I have one best friend and numerous other friends whom I care about very much but just don't have the same relationship with. This blog isn't here because I want people to think I'm cool or a tortured, poetic soul or anything, it's just a way to while away the time and maybe find out something about myself... All in a completely public way. Not that anyone will ever probably read this though. Well, peace out...

My Mental Health

Does it even exisit? How am I to tell... I break down crying for no reason. I hate all my friends sometimes (except Brie, Jason, Niki, Dylan, and David) and I CANNOT FIND THAT ACCURSED INU FANFIC!! Gar. Well, more later. ; )